Yet another sign that the Apocalypse is upon us

What the fuck? Skating with Celebrities? Dancing with the Stars? Mountain Climbing with a Whiny Asshole? What the hell is this all about? What Einstein ratlled his or her grey matter

and dislodged this inane televised torture? Who hires these people...never mind...where do these entertainment Gestapites work? Is there really a need for this? The ratings are through the roof for these programs?? Have we become fucking gerbils??? What's next...Conversations While On The Toilet In A Public Washroom with Bowlers? Shooting Coca-Cola Out Your Nose with Talk Show Hosts? Bra Snapping and Gotch Pulling with Comedic Fuckos?? Holy Mary mother of God and the wee donkey too...I mean really now, what the hell is going on? I don't really watch that much television anyway, the odd cooking show and documentary/foreign film...oh alright, AND Red Shoe Diaries and anything after it on Fridays Without Borders on Showcase because it's soft-core porn and If you say you don't well then you're full of poop and your nose is as long as a telephone wire because everyone likes porn in one variation or another. Yes you do. You know yourself you do. Hello??? It's called msturbation?? Yes you do. Do too. DO NOT TURN MY HOUSE INTO A HOME OF LIES!!! And don't knock wrestling with Jimmy or finger conditioning for the Yellow Pages...it happens to be a form of sex with someone I think rather highly of. You need some sort of mental imagery, don'tcha? Where do you get it from??? HMMMM??? That's right...Showcase and Bravo late at night. God bless them. Anyway, the only time we should see celebrities doing something other than their particular vocation is when they are doing a stint in rehab or doing community work as part of their probation from their last hotel fire/drunken feces flinging rabid monkey sex in the coat check at Spago's/snorting coke off of a hooker's ass bender in Vegas or Cannes or wherever it is they go to nowadays. George Hamilton a'la tango? I don't think so. Dave Coulier trying the triple Lutz in the pike position? Buy me a helmet and give me colouring books for Christmas for the rest of my life because I will be bludgeoning myself with the front bumper of a transit bus that just happens to be hurtling itself my way during rush hour with a full load of the bored and the listless and the sweaty and the relatively employed...

I need to lie down for a bit, methinks...now if only I could unwind...