Let me lie in this bed...PART II

Author's Note:

The comments, emails, phone calls and texts that I have received from all of you have been quite reassuring... "you like me...you REALLY like me!"

To those of you that have been worried, do not be.

To those of you that have been curious, please continue to be so .

And to those of you that couldn't care less either way, get bent.

Oh and by the way, to my sister I say hello love, good of you to drop a note and I never took off...I just...went on...a walkabout... and to my brother Deano, no, it's not a woman...sheesh.

For the past six months that

I have been dwelling in this wasteland, I have been subjecting myself to a rather intensive and rigorous overhauling.

My spiritual, mental and physical conditions have been reworked and are still in the beta phase as far as progress goes.

I'm healthier now than I have been in years and my outlook towards you all as well as my life in general is positive and real.

The factors that have contributed to this rebirth if you will, have been rather out of the ordinary and for that simple reason alone, they stand on their own as having great merit.

Having the opportunity to meet someone and get to know them and speak with them having no(and to this day, still do not...)clue as to what they look like or sound like.

Just a name...an identity with which I forged a rather insightful and terribly beneficial rapport with...

to her, I wish for all the best as she takes yet another step down that road...

having had some rather violent situations arise out of the blue to which I had no choice but to react, thereby ignoring my beliefs and practices of peace and goodwill and unleashing the fury that still lay within me

toiling in an environment where contempt and jealousy, ignorance and bigotry, pettiness and betrayal are alive and well and are spawning offspring.

all of these have contributed to a need for my development as a HUMAN to be greater than it has ever been.

The world, all of you and my own being depend on this growth to occur.

I know that now.

All of the guilt that I have carried with me for all these years has been discarded,

all of the bitter and shameful memories I so desperately held onto as reminders of my wrongdoing have been jettisoned.

There are those of you that want nothing more to do with me, those of you that have been waiting for some time to realize who I am as well as those of you that haven't had the chance to meet me...

Yet.

To all of you, I say this...

I am now who I should have been years ago.

And most importantly, I am now who I have always wanted to be.

So with that, I say...

hello world...I've missed you.